Andersrum ist auch nicht dumm

Hxxxx A. Mxxxx
Chair – Search Committee
412A College Hall, XYZ University
College Town, US 11000

Dear Professor Mxxxx,

Thank you for your letter of March 16. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite XYZ’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor in your department this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
CXXX L. Jxxxx

[via Librarygrrrl]